There I go again...

So much for wanting to create happy memories....Why do I have to go and do something dumb again...now that i've screwed up...again...I feel like shit...no...i feel lower than shit...

Contradict

I think I don' t know you anymore
I guess I never did...
I tot I understood,
I tot I knew
but...I don't
I never did
You never gave me the chance.

There are times when I tot I'm almost there
I tot I almost reach your heart
but everytime you slam the door in my face
It hurts...
I reach out but all I touch was cold solid door
How I push at it and how I charge at it
I got myself wounded all over and yet it wouldn't budge
Not even a little

I wanted to turn back, to give up on you
But this longing I feel inside just won't go away
This feeling I never though I'd feel for anyone
You make it happen
You're my miracle yet you're my debacle
And I love you so

When will I be fine?

Again and again he hurt me...so badly I just wanna cry my eyes out and shut myself from everything....but I cant...I know he's hurting too....I don't wanna be a 'small gas' and left him at the time when he's at his lowest...Yet as I wrote this, my eyes start to fill up....my heart ache....my self-worth gone....and the words David say rang in my head..."is he worth it?"over and over it plays in my head...but my answer will never change...."I dont know...but I did everything I did willingly"
May be this answer will change one day...I don't know but I'm sure it wont change anytime soon....

I Love You

So bad… a person like you
Why did you take my heart away without my permission?
I’m living with so much difficulties
But you don’t even know.

I know… that it’s not me
That I’m not worthy enough for even a blink of your eye
But sometimes can’t you share your smile with me too?
Even if it’s not love
Please turn back just once sometime
If I wait endlessly like this today
Again it’s the one word in my heart that I can’t keep inside
I love you.

Yesterday, I laid my head on my desk
And I think I fell asleep grieving for you
When I opened my eyes, the tears had smudged
Your name and hopeless doodles

Please turn back just once sometime
If I wait endlessly like this today
Again it’s the one word in my heart that I can’t keep inside
I love you.

As I look back at your image
which I got so used to it
I say those silent tear-like words,
I love you.

Bleeding love

Closed off from loveI didn't need the painOnce or twice was enoughAnd it was all in vainTime starts to passBefore you know it you're frozenBut something happenedFor the very first time with youMy heart melts into the groundFound something trueAnd everyone's looking roundThinking I'm going crazyBut I don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the veinThat I keep on closingYou cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me openTrying hard not to hearBut they talk so loudTheir piercing sounds fill my earsTry to fill me with doubtYet I know that the goalIs to keep me from fallingBut nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embraceAnd in this world of lonelinessI see your faceYet everyone around meThinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybeBut I don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the veinThat I keep on closingYou cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me openAnd it's draining all of meOh they find it hard to believeI'll be wearing these scarsFor everyone to seeI don't care what they sayI'm in love with youThey try to pull me awayBut they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the veinThat I keep on closingYou cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveI keep bleedingI keep, keep bleeding loveKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding loveYou cut me open and IKeep bleedingKeep, keep bleeding love

Tifa Lockhart

I'm so HAPPY!!!! The guy I'm crush ng on says I look like Tifa Lockhart from FF^^That was like the BEST compliments I've ever receive from anyone... Sure I've always had people telling me I'm cute...pretty...yadda...yadda...looks like I'm from mix parentage and so on... but to be compared to Tifa in FF movie advent children is just too much even for me to handle...In advent children, Tifa is soo.... pretty...and on top of that, its my crush who said that!!!! *squeals* And baby, you can be cloud^^muakakaka....

Men

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
- William Edward Hickson

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like .. Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ... Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like ...... Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .... . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.